Pregnancy, birth, and parenting after loss are uniquely complex experiences — not just for us, but also for the friends and family supporting us. It’s for this reason that Lane and I wrote a letter to our friends and family laying out what to expect around Lora’s birthday and the weeks following. Our goal for the letter was to empower our friends and family to support us in a way that honors Norah, Mom, and our story. I can’t say enough how much it helped in those fresh first days.

One year ago you left this earth to go take care of your granddaughter. You had excitedly said that you get to hold Norah first, and mama, I hope you’re getting constant snuggle time.

While I was pregnant with Lora, one of my biggest fears was that your presence would begin to fade once she was born. What I’m finding is exactly the opposite; your sister’s arrival has been breathing new life into our memories of those precious days spent with you.

It’s officially been one week since Norah’s little sister made her debut into this world (excuse me, but HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?).

Now that we’re slightly less delirious, we thought we’d share some more about her birthday!

Lane and I have been told that we’re walking through this experience with strength, resiliency, and grace. And maybe we are.

But what I have failed to share with you is the wrestling, and I think it’s time to talk about it.

2019 is the second year we’ve entered into without you and the first we’ve entered without your Grandma. This is also the first year we’ve entered since 2016 where the coming year hasn’t been obscured by the looming cloud of death hanging over our family.

But before we head into 2019, I want to take a look back at what 2018 held for our family.