As I watch your sister’s tiny wild toes explore the grass in our front yard, my heart wanders to wondering what you would be like, what it might look like if life had instead filled the void where death now sits.
I see a spunky two-year-old running barefoot through the grass, digging holes in the sandy mud, picking flowers for mama (even when I told you to leave them be), and squealing at every creature you discover (bugs, slugs, and all). I see dirty hands, curious eyes, and a laugh that makes the trees smile.
Would I have taught you about the magic found when nature is your playground? Would I have taught you to see God’s artistic side at work in every piece of His creation? Or that the very same love and attention that formed each blade of grass knows the detail of every hair on your head? Would I have taught you to be curious, to seek out the tiny miracles hiding under every leaf, within each bud still waiting to bloom?
I picture your grandma walking with you around our property, embodying patience and grace as she watches you toddle around, stopping to explore and examine every. single. thing.
Your grandma had nature in her soul and sunshine made her come alive. Some of the last words I remember her saying before she died was a request to raise the blinds, saying simply, “I want to see the sun.”
One of the very first flowers your grandma taught me to recognize was a Bleeding Heart. I’m sure she taught me countless others as well, but that one stands out the most to me, likely because of its distinctive appearance and unforgettable name.
You’ll understand then why my heart swelled at the discovery of two huge clusters of Bleeding Hearts on either side of our house. I like to think your grandma planted one for you and one for her, just for us to see.
May was a busy month for us. The craziness of summer is now in full swing!
Race season officially kicked off! Norah, we know how much you loved going drag racing (we even found out I was pregnant with you at the track!) and it appears Lora is just the same. Now, thanks to your little sis, our racing setup has seen some changes. We purchased our first motorhome to pull the race trailer. It’s not new, but it’s new-to-us and will make this race season possible for our newly-expanded family.
I like to call it my ‘summer home’ or my ‘cabin on wheels’.
Daddy doesn’t have quite the same level of enthusiasm.
We celebrated Mother’s Day in all it’s broken beauty. Every year it’s tough and this year was no different. I am truly blessed to be surrounded by so many amazing women who continue to mother me. What an honor it has been to both be the daughter to an incredible mother, and the mother to two fierce and wild daughters.
I decided we need a little MN Loss Mama meetup. Community is vital, especially within this loss community. I’ve met so many other wonderful loss mamas thanks to social media, but nothing quite compares to gathering in person. So I’m putting together a little coffee/brunch date on Saturday, July 13th for local loss mamas. Visit the event page to RSVP if you’re interested! More details will come as we get closer.
Team Norah 2019. It’s time for our third annual fundraiser for Ronald McDonald House – Upper Midwest! We’ll be launching a new shirt design soon along with making some previous designs available for purchase. How much can we raise this year? Stay tuned for more updates!
We love you to the moon and back, baby girl.
Keep changing the world.